Yes yes,at least my results didnt disappoint me. Was satisfied with my results. I’m happy about it.
Yet..down deep in my heart,the sadness has overwhelm my happiness.
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JUST EXACTLY WHAT DID HE GOT? This is the most impt and worrying qns i have in my mind right now. It was the first time i saw him so nervous,so sad,so scared,so unhappy. I really love God for loving me so much ytd. Thanks. First,it was taking the same bus as him. It was really the F.A.T.E that i believed in all along. In mins or even secs,i could have taken the earlier bus or he could have taken the bus that have reached his stop first but just so coincidentally,we took the same bus!. Its never easy. I was glad we did. We was standing in line but seperated by someone. I totally love his hair colour and the way he style his hair. I love the way he wears the sch uni and the way he is. It made me realised that i didnt love the wrong guy. He was really the one i am looking for that i could give my heart and soul to. I was certain. Definitely,i still couldnt get him outta my mind. I cant.. The way he kneel there,looking so worried and scared,i felt so much like going over and hug him(from the back),to give him some assurance that all would be fine. Obviously,i cant. To everyone who walk pass and talk to him,he managed to give a forceful smile and then back to his worried face. His eyes was watery. I could see. I could sense. He went forward,sitting infront of his results,i thought i saw him wiping his drop of tear off. I couldnt be too sure whether he did. Then,he stood up,taking his results in his hands,the look on his face changed. From scared and worried,it became an unhappy one. With eyes still as watery,he managed to control his tears. Carebear consoled him. (Carebear is forever so cute. ) I think he knew i kept looking at him. He caught me a few times. We look into each other eyes a few times. It felt like he know i have got something to say to him and he wanted me to approach him. Looking into his eyes,i could feel his sour. WHY DIDN’T I MUSTER UP MY COURAGE AND APPROACH HIM? “WeiTeng,you’re dumb. You’re a retard and a failure who couldnt do what you yourself wanted. Its already the last day you could see him and you didnt make use of this chance. you’re hopeless.” The only courage that i have was to ask my son to help me ask him but it fail though. Deep down in his heart,i’m sure he wishes for someone to be there by him and console him. That someone would be HER. Why didnt she stay awhile longer to check out his results? Why didnt she stay awhile longer to be with him? Ok,even if the relationship between the two of you is already the past,as a friend,is it so hard to just stay and see? You know he still love you so much as ever. A word of console from you cant even beat thousands of sentence of console by carebear. What he needs is your care and concern. Only with your care and concern then can he feel that he is being cared and loved. I wanted so much to give him my care and concern but i cant. THE PROBLEM IS I CANT AND NOT I DONT WANT. I regretted not asking him his results myself ytd. It was a good chance. Maybe if i did,…maybe. A high possibility: The thought of him going back home,crying his heart out in his room without any console from his family really sadden me. I dont know when will i see him again. He lives just a few blks away,so near yet so far.. Right now,i just wants to know if he is fine. Please,someone,let me know. I need to know..
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